Overthinking is one of the things I see a lot of my clients struggling with. They often ask me “how to stop overthinking”?
Overthinking shows up when they’re trying to make a decision, or when they’re worrying about decisions they’re going to make or have made. They worry about the potential outcome or over the unexpected outcome, which wasn’t necessarily what they had in mind.
A major factor when it comes to overthinking is being attached to an outcome. Your attachment to an outcome causes you to think about ways that you might be able to change the outcome, or control the outcome. The reason you are attached to the outcome is because you believe it is connected to your sense of worth, and then you tend to feel worthless or not good enough.
In this article I’m going to break down 3 techniques that can help you manage, and maybe even overcome, overthinking.
Three Ways to Slow Down Overthinking
1. Take Three Deep Breaths.
Taking deep breaths will help center yourself and give your mind the time to slow down. When you overthink you are totally in your brain and not connecting to yourself and your body. Give yourself the space and time to feel those breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. And, then allow yourself to feel that sense of calm, and reset.
2. Ask Yourself This Question.
This question will help you get out of that loop of overthinking. Ask yourself, what is the purpose of me overthinking? The whole idea of this question is to get you into the mode of: what am I doing here? It stops the thought process and the anxiety. It gives you the ability to be more intentional about your choices and actions.
A lot of the time when you ask yourself questions like, where am I going? What am I trying to accomplish? It will help you realize overthinking is not going to resolve the mistake you made yesterday when you left your keys in the car, or make your friend change their mind about where you're going to go for dinner in a week. Overthinking doesn't change anything, not in the past nor in the future.
3. What am I trying to change or control by overthinking? or what am I trying to avoid?
Then ask yourself, what am I trying to change or control by overthinking? I use the word ‘change’ because when you overthink you’re trying to change a situation that happened in the past. But that situation already happened. Fixating about something that already happened can’t change anything, because it’s already done. And when you ask yourself the question, what am I trying to control? If we go back to the example of going to dinner with your friend, when you ask yourself this question, then you suddenly realize, what does it really matter where we eat? As long as I'm hanging out with my friend. We begin to really get into this habit of becoming aware of our intentions and thoughts.
The last question you should then ask yourself when you find yourself overthinking is: what am I trying to avoid? Maybe you want to avoid picking a great restaurant so you don't feel embarrassed if your friend doesn't like it. Or, maybe deep down you don't want to make mistakes or experience rejection.
Whatever it is, can it really be avoided with overthinking?
TAKEAWAY
These reflections and questions help you become more in tune with yourself. They help you see that overthinking is causing more fear and anxiety and it’s actually not taking you anywhere. It also helps you see your fears and the things you've been trying to avoid. Pausing and reflecting on the motivation behind this overthinking can help you see the fear of rejection and your attachment to outcomes that you might want to truly confront and deal with. Thankfully you have some things to think about to help you stop overthinking and to help you feel more relaxed.
More Blog Post’s you’ll Enjoy
Overcoming Perfectionism by Letting go of Procrastination
Overcoming the Belief I am A Failure
How to Move Beyond Shame and Guilt
Relatable Podcast Episodes you’ll Enjoy from: It Didn’t Break Me Podcast
Breaking Free from Approval Addiction with Kimberly Valerie
"Embracing the And" with Faith Broussard Cade
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