Imagine if you flipped the script and acknowledged your imperfections as your most valuable assets. Imagine how much that could alter your perspective and feelings towards yourself.
Sometimes we give so much attention to what we have labeled as our ‘imperfections,’ that it blindsides us to who we truly are. We raise our expectations, raise the bar for how we believe we should be, and we focus on the ways in which we didn’t quite get the job done perfectly - from our dress to our job. But, what if we changed the script, changed the line that creeps into our minds, rewrote our sing-song into something more encouraging and compassionate?
Some of us try to be perfect in everything we do, from the way we style our hair, to the way we complete each task. While others focus all their attention into one or two areas of their lives - trying to be the perfect partner, daughter/son, parent and so on.
But when we come to face the reality, the reality that this idea of perfection is actually imaginary, we tend to have trouble accepting that fact.
What about the valuable sides to our imperfections? Let’s sidestep our ideas of perfection for a few minutes and explore the value of the so-called imperfections and what potentially lies behind the mask of perfection.
The hard truth about perfection
Before we get into the hard truth about perfection, we do want to state that working hard, is in fact, a trait we value. However, overworking oneself until the point of a breakdown, is certainly something else. Pushing ourselves too hard, too fast and too far, isn’t doing anyone any favors. How about focusing on the process of working towards certain ideals and goals rather than focusing on the end goal and enjoying the process in motion?
This abstract idea of Perfection is our imaginary standards for how we believe we should be, or what we imagine others expect from us. If working towards these ideals make us feel overwhelmingly stressed, anxious or frustrated, then maybe it’s time we take a step back and reevaluate how we go about achieving our goals, what our expectations are of ourselves and if they are realistic or not.
Sometimes we look at others who we imagine are perfect, but it’s because we’re focusing on one aspect in their lives, because in fact none of us are perfect. Let’s say that again, none of us are perfect. And in fact, no one expects you to be perfect, they just expect you to do your best. And only you get to decide what your best is.
The value of our imperfections
First and foremost, our imperfections lend us room to grow. They make us human. Because as we stated, no one is perfect. The first, and sometimes easiest way to confront our imperfections can be with an approach like: ‘where do I feel I fall short?’ Once you’ve acknowledged those places where you aren’t perfect, ask yourself: ‘how do I go about these imperfections in a way that doesn’t make me feel overwhelmed or stressed?’
Baby steps are essential here.
You are allowed to make mistakes.
Making mistakes is a part of our learning curve. We all make mistakes. Accept the mistake as the human side of you, examine where you might have gone wrong, accept it, and try to move forward, with this new tool on your belt of experiences.
The incredible value of focusing on the present
Most of the time when we harp over our imperfections, it’s usually over something we’ve done in the past, or a goal we’d like to achieve in the future. But how about being present with yourself and the tools you have in the current moment?
The present is the only thing you may have control over. Being present with yourself will offer much greater results in the moment and down the line. When we are grounded and are aware of what we are doing in the moment, then we have the power to give each moment our best self.
Every moment we worry about the past is a moment we are not creating and nurturing our present self.
Our attention and care is invaluable - children know it, that’s why they are always trying to get you to listen to them or look at them. Because when we give attention and care to what we are doing, we lend ourselves to positive experiences and most likely, positive results.
The power of compassion
We know how important it is to stay motivated, but let’s not underestimate our need for compassion. When we are more compassionate with ourselves, then we have the power to feel better about what we are doing and we are able to be more compassionate with others.
If we accept that we will make mistakes down the line, we will not meet others expectations and we can not be perfect in everything that we do, then we open ourselves up to a more compassionate and forgiving self. We open ourselves up to the beauty of humility and the possibility of growth, for an ever evolving self.
When we liberate ourselves from our ideas of perfection, we are free to live with our flaws without shame or feelings of failure. When we free ourselves from our desire to be perfect, we learn to love who we really are and we accept others for who they are too.
Have you recently acknowledged and accepted the beauty of your imperfections, scars and flaws? How has that experience been for you and what helps you continue to accept who you are in the present moment? We’d love to hear from you and hear your story!
More Blog Post’s you’ll Enjoy
5 Steps For Raising Your Self Esteem
Self Care Tips to Feel Your Best Right Now
The Healing Power of Self-Love
Relatable Podcast Episodes you’ll Enjoy from: It Didn’t Break Me Podcast
Our Jobs are NOT Our Identities with Jillian "JJ" Simmons
The Journey to Be Your Own Kind with Regina Betts
Being Single and Alone Didn’t Break Me with Nausheen Farishta
Connect With Bianca Hughes
Follow the “It Didn’t Break Me Podcast” on your favourite podcast player
Sign up to the newsletter (I provide tips and insights on overcoming perfectionism so you can embrace your imperfections and authentically be you together with my day to experiences of discovering the beauty within the mess).
Instagram: @authenticallybeyou (I am active here the most 🙂)
LinkedIn: Bianca Hughes
Pinterest: @authenticallybeyou