We all need a little confidence boost every now and then, sometimes more than others.
Self deprecating thoughts and feelings have the power to bring down the best of us. Many of us get trapped in self defeating thoughts and feelings patterns, and sometimes can’t seem to find the way out.
It can be a real challenge to break through any cycle, especially cycles that have been present for years, if not decades. On the bright side, it is possible to boost your self esteem with a few simple steps and flags to cue into and adhere to. In this article we will explore 5 simple and accessible steps for boosting our self esteem today.
1. Acknowledge any self defeating feelings or thoughts which continue to reappear
The first step into moving towards a more self encouraging and self confident self is by first acknowledging and naming the thoughts and feelings which continue to arise and make you feel disappointed, sad, or unloved.
Write down some of these thoughts which continue to appear. These thoughts can sound something like:
He/she is ignoring my messages because they think I’m annoying
I’m not smart enough to accomplish XYZ
I won't Succeed
I shouldn’t have said that/done that, now I feel stupid
If I don’t say yes, then maybe they won’t like me
By acknowledging and facing these thoughts you are able to see them plainly and matter-of-factually. Once they are in front of you, and you read them outside of your head and heart, you can now build an awareness for when these thoughts creep up again. With this awareness you will then be able to apply other methods for dealing and soothing such thoughts and feelings.
2. Realise the way you think and feel is in your hands
What would you look like and how would you act with a higher self esteem? Is there someone you can imagine as a role model, who seems to have a healthy self esteem? Can you put yourself in their shoes? And even fake it if you have to?
The way you think and feel is in your control.
When you hear your discouraging thoughts and feelings creeping up, why not ask yourself what the opposite of that feeling is? And try out the opposite feeling. So instead of telling yourself you won't succeed, why not try something like, I will succeed and if I don’t it has nothing to do with my skills but some external factors beyond my control. Or, if I don’t succeed then it wasn't meant to be.
Why not try swapping out these discouraging thoughts with more uplifting possibilities and alternatives? You can alter the way you think and feel. Try it for two weeks and see how this way of thinking transforms your overall outlook on yourself and your life.
3. What are the benefits of increasing your self esteem?
List off the benefits of increasing your self esteem. An increased self esteem can make you feel worth it without needing anyone else to reaffirm your worth. Raising self esteem can make you feel more loved from yourself and allows you to love others more. Why shouldn’t you deserve a better life? What can you do for yourself that makes you feel happier, uplifted and valuable? Your self worth is not based on how others see you, but on how you see yourself.
4. Surround yourself with healing positive energies or objects
We live in a sensory world, there’s no denying it! If we surround ourselves with smells that make us feel calm, like lavender, incense, sage or palo santo, we can use these scents as a cue that one: we are taking care of ourselves and two: you can use the scents to station yourself into feelings of peace, harmony and love. Sounds hippyish, but should we not do something that makes us feel calm and soothed just because it might seem too ‘new agey?’ That depends on you.
You can also surround yourself with life giving plants, decorate your space with soothing colours, make your space a space that makes you feel safe and centred. It’s incredible how our external world can really have a great impact on our internal world.
5. Build a future for yourself
It’s time to start doing things for yourself that make you feel loved, joyful and worthy. Whether it’s taking a bath everyday, going for a run, doing yoga and meditation, painting, sitting in the park for 30 minutes, what’s your happy place?
We are all too often in a rush, full of anxiety, running all over the place, and we sacrifice invaluable time for ourselves, for less life giving moments. We don’t need to get to the point of burning out, we can find a rhythm and lifestyle that supports our needs and emotions, rather than one that suppresses our desires and self worth.
Focus on and build the aspects in your life that make you feel good. Whether it’s reading a book, writing in a journal, drinking tea, rock climbing, or organising your pantry. Remind yourself that this action represents the control you have over your life and feelings. That you have skills and talents and what you accomplish is valuable and important, if not to a larger community, than at least to yourself.
Instead of being your worst critic, how about being your biggest fan?
Rechanneling your energy and thought patterns will have a huge impact on your esteem and relationships. We can take these steps today and build our self esteem one day at a time!
Ready to start Raising your self-esteem?
Affirmations done in the MIRROR are a powerful way to reinforce self acceptance and silence your inner critic! Click Here to get your FREE "Mirror Affirmations" to help you start feeling confident.
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