Let’s talk about Unrealistic Expectations
So today I'm going to do some straight up teaching about perfectionism. One of the things I'm going to touch on is unrealistic expectations. The goal of trying to reach perfection is an illusion because you're really just perfect the way you are. However, this goal post of perfection creates a lot of unrealistic expectations.
Let’s have a look at three reasons why you may have unrealistic expectations.
Reason #1: You believe in order to feel adequate you have to constantly achieve.
This goes back to some point in your life where you failed and it didn't feel good. You're constantly moving onto the next goal because you get a high from the goal you achieved which made you feel adequate. Then the high goes away, so you keep setting these goals for yourself. Sometimes your goals are unrealistic, or the amount of time you give yourself to accomplish those goals are unrealistic. Crossing things off that list makes you feel good and makes you feel adequate. For example, you create a to-do-list with 10 items but you really only have time to do 6 of those things.
Reason #2: You often forget that you're human.
You put all this pressure on yourself to do it all, and you tell yourself you can't delegate because no one can do it like me. You tell yourself you can’t cry or crack, but you're over committing yourself at work and you're really trying to fill the void of ‘I am not enough.’ You try to overcommit and please all these people to feel like you're enough. In doing so, you're not even really human because you’re doing things that burn you out.
Reason #3: You’ve been setting unrealistic expectations for so long that you might not even think they are unrealistic.
This might come as a surprise to you. You might be on autopilot, feel anxious, overwhelmed, or tired, and to you, that's just a part of life. You might not even realize you're setting unrealistic expectations because you're so used to being in that cycle. You might not even question it and you just think it's normal. But I want you to know that feeling tired, inadequate and overwhelmed isn’t normal and you don't need to live that way.
Ready to Break Free from Perfectionism This Week?
You don't have to spend years in therapy to start feeling relief from perfectionism.
Download my e-book: You're Enough: Letting Go of the Pressure to be Perfect
In just one weekend, you'll discover:
✓ 3 proven strategies to immediately relieve the pressure to be perfect
✓ How to recognize and release unrealistic expectations that are holding you back
✓ Practical tools to reduce overwhelm and reclaim your energy
✓ A personalized approach to productivity that actually works for your life—not someone else's ideal
Stop exhausting yourself trying to meet impossible standards. This e-book gives you the clarity and compassion you need to finally feel like you're enough.
About the Author
If you've been following all the rules, done everything you thought you were supposed to do, and still aren't living the life you expected to live, Bianca Hughes, LPC, gets it.
She is an Atlanta, Georgia-based Perfectionism Therapist with over 11 years of experience, working with high achievers struggling with perfectionism, anxiety, burnout, and overthinking. She guides clients to break free from the captivity of perfectionism and cultivate a profound sense of confidence, self-trust, and authenticity.
As a speaker, Bianca leads honest conversations on perfectionism and authenticity that go deep. She has spoken with organizations like Amazon, at conferences and events in the U.S. and internationally, and has been a guest on over 40 podcasts.
As the founder of Therapists Beyond the Mold, Bianca mentors therapists to trust their clinical magic and build careers that fit them.